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From;    Author:Stand originally

Quarrel marriage is sweeter

Should marry only or have the person most propbably of fixed affinity to be able to be agreed with, once friend of male and female or husband and wife quarrel to come, the ability of conduct behavior, verbal sentence-making, may not can have level go where than pupil.

Actually, conflict is not certain to affinity harmful, contrary, it is to keep the activity with necessary affinity even.
American writer Sheila Heen and gentleman are taught in haing Buddha university human communicate, all people think they are perfect combination, won't quarrel absolutely, result, wrong! In their home, can have stick to one's position all the same. Psychological doctor Jhon Gottman ever founded in Washington university " love lab " , the marital impact that he studied more than 30 years discovers, happy husband and wife has mostly 5: The front of 1 and interact negatively. Each other kinetic energy of the front builds the base that loves each other for a long time, sense of humor can guide husband and wife to had walked along negative sentiment. If the front and negative interactive scale under 3: 1, marital relation can give an issue most probably. }
See here, the reader can ask certainly, why is that the front does interactive scale heal does tall marriage heal perfect? For example 10: 1. Hum, black black here, according to the research discovery of Gottman, the husband and wife that professes to never quarrel, be in normally short-term inside spend to marital satisfaction taller than average person, after but wait,passing 3 years, gottman studies this group again not the husband and wife of conflict discovers however, the husband and wife that satisfaction spends the marriage of this group of people to compare those to make a noise the problem to come instead is low still, possible reason is, this group of husband and wife depress the dissatisfaction to each other all the time go down, of adverse instead affinity maintain.

Conclusion is, quarrel may beneficial affinity, but the key is, should know among them secret, be good at handling dispute, can make two people relation closer and firm, handle badly, unavoidable cause concern failure rupture. American writer Sheila Heen provides a few measure, teach everybody to quarrel:

1. Do not be not contend for piece to who who is wrong

" you had said you can go of capture charge of electricity, your capture? " ground of wife harsh words and looks asks the man, although she is early,knew the husband to forget this returns a responsibility at all. In her heart very affirmatory she just is right, and right not merely this, see when her husband gets domestic lanes and alleys posse chaos, always do not love to bathe, eat rubbish food before the child almost everyday, drive to always want exceed the speed limit every time, she knows, in these things, she is right, the husband is be in the wrong. Nevertheless, conflict dot depends on, his husband also thinks he just is right. Because he thinks capture charge of electricity does not live minor matter; Do not like to bathe, know before madam marriage; Blame him Che Kaitai is fast, because the madam is intolerable,just be by others the palm charges rate. And he often still helps wash a bowl, pour rubbish, the madam is not thanked however.
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