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Face marriage
From;    Author:Stand originally

Face marital psychology ready

" new marriage law " come on stage, let marital problem make the central point of attention once more. Someone says " the highest tide that marriage is love " , someone says " the graveyard that marriage is love " . We after all should how marriage of correct look upon, how should treat marriage correctly? Face marriage, whether had you made psychology prepare? With respect to these problems, we interviewed Beijing University fall Director Chen Wei of psychological research center.

Marriage is his thing

" marriage law " cancelled unit proof, cancelled pre-marital check-ups, the people that causes thereby about " bigamous " the doubt of the problem. To this phenomenon, chen Wei thinks, he special approval is famous the view of marital expert Ms. Chen Xinxin: Marrying is not the thing of the unit, not be the thing of the hospital, is the individual's thing completely.

Everybody must choose to be in charge of to his. Everybody is responsible there is a real knowledge to the object before marry. If you connect your marriage object " concubinage " , "Bigamous " these things were not aware of, mix he (she) if marrying, this is very cursory, it is irresponsible to oneself, must assume corresponding responsibility consequently.

Country no longer mandatory carry out, this lets a lot of people may choose to abandon pre-marital check-ups. Chen Wei thinks, such person is adopting such mentality commonly: Above all, yearn for marriage very, but be afraid of him fish what problem and influence marriage, choose to abandon so; Next, thought to understand very much each other, do not need redo marriage check. Actually, these two kinds of idea are irresponsible. Anything but can because have an insatiable desire for temporarily petty gain, consider temporarily joy, take no account of oneself future. The marriage that the person that believes each true health treats love and marriage is him hope is long, it is harmonious. This needs everybody to be in before walking into marriage, serious ground treats it.

Marriage is the individual's thing, the individual has right random to handle. But need to be handled reasonably more at the same time. But can plant because of this anything but individual sex, and evade corresponding responsibility. We need to be opposite the other side, still marital itself is in charge of. You know him really (she)   Chen Wei seeks advice from division introduction, a lot of youths are right oneself love is very self-confident. And this kind of self-confidence comes from the self-confidence that knows capacity to oneself at them.

But must notice, love often is met becloud your eye, you often can regard their a few defect as individual character, regard as " cruel " . But after marry, you may discover is far from such. You can discover him (she) lazy make you intolerable, you can discover her (he) do not return tardy make you afflictive. You can discover, so he (her) the weak point that has so much, so he (her) that individual that wants in your dream together, still have so big difference. Chen Wei says, he once had accepted such case, those who a girl disregards family object marrying with oneself favorite man. She thinks he is the world on best most the man of cruel. He lives very free and easily to mix detached, hopeful, without sadness. She feels to follow him, she also is without sadness. But after marry, the sort of once free and easy became gradually in his eye do-nothing, he is not aspirant, do not work hard, rely on her to feed all the day not compunctious also with shame. Then she feels he is the spouse that the value derives from the ideal with personal lifetime entrust far from actually, but she turned round without method however.
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